Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The problem with loving so many people is that everything is personal. Maybe leaders of nations should have their children and brothers and cousins in Baghdad, in Tel Aviv, in Gaza, in nuclear-capable India or Pakistan.
We have loved ones in three embattled zones right now, one reassures me that he is thirty minutes from the bombing. This is not reassuring to me.

My prayer for the New Year is the prayer of St Francis of Assisi: Lord, make us instruments of thy peace . . .

Monday, December 29, 2008

In some ways it's easier to adopt the second time. Some of the things we learned the first time, intellectually, emotionally, bureaucratically, apply.
The thing knowing doesn't change: how strange it is to go to bed when your child is waking up on another continent.

GOP's still not for POC

I cannot understand how reaction can be "split" in the GOP to the inclusion of a "parody" that debut on Rush Limbagh's radio show in a Christmas compilation cd for RNC members. How parody will be received depends on the context.

Here's the context, as reported in the New York Times:

"There are no black Republicans in Congress, and a party spokesman could name only 2 blacks among the 168 members of the national committee. Katon Dawson, the chairman of the South Carolina Republican Party, resigned from an all-white country club in preparing for his campaign to be party chairman."

Sunday, December 28, 2008

On smelling and spelling

Post-adenoidectomy, Miss I can smell things she'd never smelled before, and with what intensity! She describes smells everywhere we go. A whole new sense-world has opened up for her.
She's also learning to spell.
The combination resulted in this Miss I-ism, at an ice cream parlor:
"I smell D.A.W."
"Wait . . . how do you spell 'mint chocolate chip'?"

Monday, December 22, 2008

Scarlet Letters for the Blue and Orange

An MSN Money writer informs us that without the bailout, citibank "would have reneged on a $400 million, 20-year deal to name the new Mets stadium "Citi Field." Now, one New York pol quipped, "Citi-Taxpayer Field" might be a better name.""
Why a quip? I'd like to start or help out with a campaign to actually name the new Mets stadium "Taxpayer Field."

PS I don't understand the difference between a Ponzi scheme and the late economy in general.

And Modest, Too!

An elderly woman remarked to her husband in passing dd at the grocery store: "She's beautiful." Dd said sincerely, "She's right. I am."

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Miss I and I reviewed the process it took to bring her home recently to prepare her for the wait for Littleone, but like any 3 year old, she was still disappointed when our social worker showed up without her. "Where's my baby?" she demanded when I opened the door.
Miss I tried to keep me up late Friday night in order to do the paperwork standing between us and Littleone. "What do you have to do?! Your name, your age, how you feel . . ." and then you "get on a plane."
If only it were that easy, Miss I.

Thursday, December 18, 2008


Our adoption has brought some really terrific people into our lives, and today, I am feeling so very grateful for them.
Thanks for taking this journey with me.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Another "Easy for You to Say"

I read something today that reminded me of when our first social worker told us that she understood our openness to a child of African descent since we already had one that looked like us.
Unintentionally, adoptive parents who are trying to challenge a hierarchization of children available for adoption sometimes reproduce it, saying things like "Yes, but your children are healthy, white infants as young as possible." "Healthy" "white" and "infant" are combined, and the opposite of that combination is presumably a hypothetical "medical special needs brown toddler/older child," and you can see the implications . . .

Sunday, December 14, 2008

"Can't Take it Anymore"?! Is it That Bad?!

Come on, people! I'm serious (see post below). You can even be anonymous.

I just read a thread called something like "Can't Take it Anymore" on another site, and the "it" was Christmas shopping. She still needs something for her husband, and a "helpful" poster seriously suggested a Honeybaked Ham. I am laughing so hard I'm crying (I'm so sorry if you're That Poster). But I'm just trying to imagine how Doctor Bloom would react if he unwrapped a Honeybaked Ham on Christmas. He'd love it about as much as I'd love the Bratzcam below (Fortunately, we're already done. See my Roomba review).

(Anyone who needs an affordable and responsible present for a small boy: We just gave a friend's child a Galimoto and at first he had no idea why, and about fifteen minutes later he was thrilled. Look ma, no batteries. I'm going back to buy another one for my own kids tomorrow.)

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Gift Recommendations

I have one, and I need one. If you have the answer, and need another, leave a comment!

Have: The Princess and the Pea by Rachel Isadora ($11 on Amazon). This retelling of the story has an African Prince in search of his Princess from among the North African nations. Selam! Jambo, Habari! Iska Waran! Dd and her preschool class love the illustrations, and the fact that they have a couple more ways to say "Hello" to visitors. A great gift for your little girl.

Need: Another idea for a soldier recently deployed to Iraq. We're putting a carepackage together on Christmas day for my cousin. We've gotten him the Mobile Foodie kit from flight101. It includes minitins of spices, a little wasabi, and a tiny tabasco. What else? When our loved one in the Navy was deployed, we sent her PowerBars (which the Post Office misunderstood not as "food" but as electronics, delaying delivery. Complete your declaration carefully . . .) We've heard others requested socks and pajama pants. But I hear that there is a Wal-Mart near base. Is that true? Should that affect what goes in a carepackage?

Thursday, December 11, 2008

A Shot in the Heart

For anyone who thinks attachment issues ever really end:
Miss I's surgery was more than a week ago, and she's been feeling much better, but she's also been crying . . . and screaming . . . and waking during the night. She's refused her favorite babysitter's attention on a visit, and asked a friend of mine to take this dictation: "Dear Momma, I want S. to go home" while I was in the room but S. was (intending to be) playing with her.
But nothing compares to the manifestness of the expression of her anxiety in preschool. I've even been staying in preschool to ease the transition, which is how I know.
Her teacher brought out the play doctor's kit in part because so many of the children were curious about her surgery and hospitals and this would deflect attention from Miss I's surgery specifically and perhaps give her a space to explore her feelings. Explore she did. Miss I took the role of doctor, had her teacher K become the patient. When she gave K a pretend shot in the arm, she leaned in, and with menace, said "Now you're never ever ever ever gonna see your Momma again." K said brightly, "I know my Momma always comes for me," to which Miss I replied in a sing-song voice with mock disbelief "O-Kaaaaaaay."
If you delivered for FedEx, and it was THIS close to Christmas, and you were delivering a really big box that said BIKE with a big pink picture to match, would you ring the doorbell picture side out?!
I opened the door, Miss I directly behind me. "IT WAS A SECRET!" I said, in shock. "Well it isn't anymore," he replied, affectlessly.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Something I Never Thought I Would Have to Say

"You can wrestle with your brother, or you can watch the Nutcracker, but you can't wrestle with your brother at the Nutcracker."

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Fine Print Continued

My dear friend asked in the comments to the last post about the guardianship papers issue:
Dh dropped us off and I signed in while he parked the car. The first nurse to see us asked Miss I "Who did you bring with you?" and when she answered "Mommy!" that seemed good enough. Later the anesthesia PA said, "I assume one of you is not the natural parent of this child." I discreetly handed him a bc copy, but he said "Oh, I don't need that." "Funny," I said, "Your pre-op paperwork says it will be required." This came as a surprise to him!

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Miss I is doing very well. We're finally in a room -- it took a long time to be assigned one -- and she's just gone to sleep.
She's a fighter, and she tried to fight off the anesthesia just out of the OR, so she was "out of sorts" . . . So out of sorts that she punched me in the face (she has no memory of this). After a bit more sedative and a long sleep, she was fine. It wasn't until her brother arrived that she tried to eat and drink, and ultimately, smiled. She sat on his lap for awhile (a comical sight, as she's very tall and only about seven pounds lighter) and he reassured her that he'd take care of her at home too. I'm so proud of both of them.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Miss I's hair was beautifully braided in small, loose braids. They were so beautiful that she decided to save some of them. So she snipped two from the front at preschool today, and stored one in her bin.
Before I unbraided, I was terrified that I'd find she'd given herself a mullet, but it isn't too bad. It will mean no ponytails for awhile, lots of flat twists, and maybe extensions :)