Strange women always assume that I am an adoptive mother. Stranger men always assume I am a babymomma.
One strange white woman asked dh today who his daughter belonged to (and she made some remark about "a communal child," having seen Miss I with both Grammy and Daddy). She did not ask the white parents with daughters from China, just feet away, who their daughters belonged to.
A restaurant employee looked horrified when he believed Miss I. was alone. He looked scandalized to discover her mother, less than a foot behind, white.
But then . . .
When we visited GG at the nursing home, a man we'd never met before, visiting another resident, said "You have very beautiful children," and in one very ordinary sentence offered a gift that should be a right -- very ordinary treatment.
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4 comments:
I'm glad to hear you had that comment from the man at the nursing home to balance out the earlier comment...what a great observation on his part too!
Just wanted to say, I can relate completely and have been struggling with this myself. I knew when we took on trans-racial adoption that we'd be subject to stares, comments, attention, etc. And I am usually happy to "educate" people. But lately we just want to go out and be a family and not deal with attention, negative or positive.
I'm glad you got such a nice comment at the nursing home. All people should say things like that! Or they should say nothing at all.
My mum is caucasian, and my dad is Chinese- and we kids stood out, sometimes we still do. Growing up, I remember lots of people complimenting my mum on how well beautiful/well behaved/nice her children were. I probably remember these episodes so much, bc she was always so pleased.
As an adult, I learned from my mum that she experienced some unpleasantries- women who argued with her that she couldn't possibly be her daughter's natural mother, he baby must be adopted; women who told her she should be ashamed; people who wouldn't wait on her in stores, etc. All rather horrible, ignorant and shocking. But they were relatively few in comparison to the compliments, and, as my mother intended, I don't remember any of them.
"in one very ordinary sentence offered a gift that should be a right -- very ordinary treatment."
What a perfect thought. I think this is what most all adoptive parents desire...very ordinary treatment.
Thank goodness for the man who gave you this gift.
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