This response in the courier news to a New Jersey bill to provide adult adoptees equal access is infuriating:
"Speaking as prospective adoptive parents, my wife and I are not willing to take on any adoption where the specter of the biological parent hovers over the adoptive parent-child relationship."
I am an adoptive mother. My daughter is absolutely my daughter. She is also absolutely the daughter of her first mother and father. Their "specter" doesn't hover over our relationship, some unseen threat. They are here in her flesh. They are here, with me every day, in my daughter's beautiful eyes and eyelashes, in her dimples, in the way she belly laughs and a million gestures and manners that I had never before seen until I met her but that I'm sure they would have seen reflected in one another.
You warn that if adoptees are granted equal access to their own information, more and more prospective adoptive parents will adopt from abroad to avoid . . . what, precisely, isn't clear -- to avoid a child who has a history? (but we ALL have histories -- genetic, prenatal, perinatal, all significant histories). I will warn you in turn: anyone who is unwilling to honor a child's inheritances from her natural family is not ready to nurture an adopted child, adopted domestically or abroad.
PS Are you a real person? You manage to hit on everything wrong with the opposition to equal access to OBCs AND everything wrong with adoption preparation . . .