Sunday, August 13, 2006

Decisions, decisions

.0There's a guy on the internet who is allowing his entire life (which shirt? Iced tea or lemonade?) to be made by his readership for an entire year. His reasoning? It can't be any worse than the choices he's made.

So now that I've really realized that I really can't do it all, and that it doesn't make sense for my husband to give up a physician's earning potential to do the kid's laundry or grocery shop with me, I'm faced with a decision:

Hire someone to clean the house or hire a mother's helper for 4-6 hours per week. (The latter would not mean handing over caregiving responsibilities for Miss I. in any way.)

What the heck, I'll let you decide. This week only. I'll count votes from those of you who email me rather than commenting too. I just need to get motivated to get it done.

*Thanks, ladies. Right now, votes are nearly all for someone to clean, though I like Gawdessness's fantasy - I saw a "personal concierge" advertising for work - she said she'd do anything I hate to do/don't have time to do . . .


Michelle said...

I guess I would want to know first what sort of the things the mother's helper would be doing?

I would probably hire someone to clean the house because that would leave me more time to spend with my daughter :)

AMH said...

Hey there. I apologize for being absent in the comment department but I do read regularly. I have found it is easy to read one handed, but not type one handed... the little peanut rarely likes me to put her down! :)

I say go for someone to clean the house. Hiring a mother's helper could just mean more stress for you, trying to get her accustomed to what you want and whatnot. And then you may worry still about how she's doing with the kids.

Just wanted to say, it is perfectly normal to feel totally overwhelmed at times! Make sure you take a little time for yourself here and there. It can make a world of difference.

Lola said...

Yes- you should do it! I would vote for a cleaning person- let's face it- you hate cleaning ;)

But- just be sure it's someone you trust.

Anonymous said...

i'm going to echo what has already said. i'm not exactly sure what a mother's helper would do (some light housekeeping and some help with the kids?), but i think hiring a cleaner might be the best route right now for all the reasons already listed. you would see an immediate improvement and you wouldn't have to help orient him/her to the job. there will be good days and bad days, but through it all, you can be sure that laundry will be piling up.

Gawdessness said...

I'm having a fantasy here and not telling you what to do but first I would want someone who would clean at least some of the time and could play with the children some of the time too.

Cause there are times when I want them to leave me alone.

Not lots and not for long, maybe an hour, in the tub ALONE or READING A BOOK.

Heck while I'm at it, I would want someone who could give me pedicures too!

granny angel said...

I truly feel for everything you are going for but let me make a few points.1) Even if both of your children were yours naturally they would not be the same. It has never ceased to amaze me how different all my children are. 2) What you are going through now is only temporary! My youngest woke me up for at 2-3 a.m. until she was way passed 2 years old. You learn to take power naps whenever possible. 3)You do not have to spend 24/7 with your children. Friends, family and baby sitters have a purpose. You will surprised what just an hour away will do to revitalze you. 4) Be constant in what you say and do. If you put a little one down for bedtime remain adamant that they are supposed to go to bed to sleep! Do not change your mind and let them rule. You are the adult and they are the child and they need boundaries set. 5) You are a person of worth and are not defined only as a mother. You do need some time to yourself. 6) Pray to God to give you strength and wisdom. He has always been there for me! 7) Your job (as mother and wife) is a full time 24 hour a day job. But for that reason you really need to take some time off now and then to rejuvenate.
Sorry this is so long but I really admire what you are and what you are doing. I hope I have given you some encouragment. You are a super mom but even super moms need time off now and again. It renews their spirit and makes them better at what they do in the long run.