Friday, May 23, 2008

I gotta post quickly because dd resorted to pretending to eat a crayon to pull me away from all the comments on Nicole's recent post, but I am

a.really sorry (though I know it isn't my fault, I belong to the class, so . . .) for all the aparent "we wipe the bums" rhetoric. It exhausts me. We wipe the bums because we get to do so. It's part of the package that we are privileged to have and to pretend otherwise is disingenuous and damaging to our children

b.mulling a conversation I had with dd (recall, 3) who was uncomfortable when I said "your first mother" -- though I've said it before, this time it struck her wrong and

c.desperately wanting to put the "is Natural mom offensive?" business to rest. I've posted about it before, but here's the short version: I am my dd's mother by legal decree. THAT is the opposite of natural in this context, not "artificial," not "fake." My husband is my legal spouse, not my natural one. My son is my natural and legal son. My daughter's natural mother is not her legal mother, I am not her natural mother. It's true and it's okay.

(Also, I am totally itching to get involved in the resurgence of the vaccination debate, but I am behaving myself for the moment).


Judy said...

Yes, yes, and yes.

Overwhelmed! said...

Whew! I just got done reading all of Nicole's comments. Quite a discussion going on there.

Okay, so your 3 year old is already comprehending what it means to be adopted? Our son, also 3, seems entirely oblivious to this concept despite the fact that I talk and pray with him about his first parents, have shown him pictures, tell him he was adopted, and read him age-appropriate adoption themed books.

I can't help but wonder at what age it will start sinking in for him?

When were you first aware that your daughter started to understand what it meant to be adopted?

Third Mom said...

"My daughter's natural mother is not her legal mother, I am not her natural mother."

Dang, it's so CLEAR when I see this. Makes you wonder why there needs to be all the debate!

abebech said...

Anxiety and turf wars, Margie. At least, that's my sense of it.