It's so hard to decide on the spot. I wish you had been there to vote on the following options:
"Does she call you Mom and Dad?"
A. Yes, except when she is calling me "Sugar-free."
B. No, she calls me Momma and her Daddy Daddy.
C. Of course. But if you are asking if she understands that she had another mother and father, yes to that too.
"I could never do that."
A. I know what you mean. I could never have married your husband! (with a wink).
B. Adoption isn't for everyone. It's really only for very empathetic people who can understand their children's losses even if we haven't experienced it ourselves. It's only for people who don't expect to see themselves reflected in their children but to see their children shine. (Add a whole host of self-righteous statements to round this one out).
C. I'm so grateful that we did.
I answered C's.