Wednesday, November 08, 2006

#3?

I was responding to Erin O's comment on a post below (and Erin, you didn't pressure me at all. Just made me think!), and I realized something. I'd implied we were on the way to number three, but we aren't, yet, I didn't think, though we struggle almost daily with whether or not we should be (many from our travel group already are!).

Sometimes I think I'm crazy for thinking about #3. (See the 90 minute tantrum, below, or the help I receive from a dear friend each week just to keep my house organized and my sanity semi-intact as dh works extra hours). But sometimes I think kind of like this
at largerfamily, written by Owlhaven in October:

"You see, I’ve been to Ethiopia. I have memories of walking through orphanages with child after child plucked at my clothes looking pleadingly upward, and raising their arms begging to be picked up.

I know deep in my soul that at this very minute there are thousands of children dying a little inside every day because they have no one to call their own. No one.

I also know how little time it takes for a former orphan to become a sassy, self-assured, much-loved member of a family. It is a miraculous and delightful metamorphasis to behold.

And here we sit, blessed beyond measure. How can I blithely say I’m done, knowing that in saying so I am shutting the door in the faces of real living children?"

She goes on to say to say that this feeling isn't about a savior complex, but the real sense that someone is missing.

Is someone missing here at Chez Bloom? Sometimes I think, given that it'll take us a good long time to process the paper and to wait, that January, at the latest June, will be the time to ca-ca or keum the po-po.

We'll never be a larger family. I don't have the temperament for it (I think I'm much too impatient, maybe a little too fragile), though God bless those who do --

but are we really done?
I don't think so.

2 comments:

Erin O' said...

I reread your post and I realized I assumed prematurely about a 3rd child. My mistake. The last thing you need is a commenter putting pressure on you!

Obviously, you have to do what's right for you and your family, and that might not be clear right now. We are adopting a child (hopefully will meet him/her early next year!), and though we talk about adopting #2 eventually, who knows how things will be after our first? We may be totally overwhelmed.

Anyway, I enjoy your blog very much, thanks for sharing.

e

abebech said...

Erin, thanks for coming and for staying to read, and for commenting. I'd love to hear your own story!
Yes, you will be totally overwhelmed, (I was with my first!) and yes there will be #2!