Saturday, November 03, 2007

Good Company

I saw a commercial today that made me cry like I haven't cried since "reach out and touch someone." A woman puts a sandwich in front of her elderly father, and someone places one before her. She puts his jacket around his shoulders, and someone offscreen wraps her in hers. She places a blanket on his lap, and a blanket is spread for her. "Wouldn't it be nice if there were caregivers for the caregivers?" the commercial asks.

This weekend, my parents are being the caregivers for this caregiver, and it is such a blessing. Dr. Bloom is away -- he says "conference," I say "gallivanting." A BIG THING is happening at work this week, and I'm panicky. Miss I has pneumonia and wantneeds me and hates me and screams a lot of the time. And I am having to advocate for a loved one's right to die.

As you know, our loved one spelled it all out, in long conversations and legal documents. Even so, we've been repeatedly told that those documents do not come into effect until the situation is terminal, and right now her kidneys are only kind of failing, liver only just started failing and hey, it might reverse, she's just barely breathing above the ventilator, and the feeding tube is sustaining her as the pressors maintain her blood pressure. Family members aren't ready. Beware: Someday no one will be allowed to be terminal. She hasn't opened her eyes since early October.

She made me promise not to let this happen.

My parents are making sure I don't have to do it alone.

5 comments:

justenjoyhim/judy said...

God bless your parents. And many prayers for you. I am so very sorry that you have to go through this because I simply am imagining how incredibly difficult this is and that is . . . oh, my. WOW is all I can say.

On top of the hurt and loss about your loved one, to have to deal with the difficulties from your loved one's family members -- that just makes it all the harder.

Many *hugs* and more prayers. I wish I could do more. I wish I could magically take away the pain -- for you AND your loved one.

Ungrateful Little Bastard said...

This sounds so hard, I'm sorry. I'm glad your parents are with you though.

Third Mom said...

So, so hard. I'm glad you have the support of your parents through this.

No words, just wishing you strength, and wishing your loved one a release from pain.

Paula O. said...

Keeping you and your loved ones in my thoughts and prayers. Many hugs to you.

LaLa said...

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this...that commercial totally got to me too. Hubby and I moved in with my Dad as he battled cancer and it was difficult. My mom had passed away a couple of years before and I had to be stronger than I ever thought I could be. So glad you have your parents for support. {{HUGS}}