Thursday, May 18, 2006

Everyday wishes and fairy wishes

I wish I would get a response.

I sent an email to our agency explaining the practical concerns I outlined for all of you below, and asking for clarification on whether or not we will need a homestudy update now that I. will be more than 16 mos when she comes home. I realize that there is nothing they can do about the delay here in the states, but perhaps they can apply more pressure where it belongs in Ethiopia. I feel so helpless, and they are our only advocates.

The effort not to make someone angry at our local (homestudy) agency led to the non- (and then poor) resolution of a situation in October, and then to an incredibly long delay and unimaginable frustration when we asked for our homestudy to be forwarded to our international agency (no one told us it hadn't been written).

Deciding whether or not to be more demanding with our sw'er reminded me so much of when I was 25 and overwhelmed by the complications of my high risk pregnancy, and felt guilty for asking the nurses to do their jobs. I was afraid of getting a reputation for being a demanding patient, and so not getting help when I really needed it. So I (we, really) sucked it up and tried not to ask for too much/call too much attention to ourselves.

I sent the email yesterday, asking my question and conveying the importance of receiving any information they do have (I know they don't want to be wrong again, but to share nothing?!)

So far I've gotten no response.

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Happily, my ds is (still) funny and amazing and crazy.
His preschool class made a list of wishes, one per child. Some kids wished for ponies, some for magic wands, some for the ability to fly. Here's ds's wish: "I wish my momma would come right now."

Later, I asked him why he had wished for something so normal, instead of something really exciting. "You mean like a fairy wish? Something that can't happen?"
He decided eventually that he did have a fairy wish:
"I wish I could make a big vacuum." Okay . . . "A big vacuum to suck up people I love." Why would you do that?! "I would empty it out into our attic, and every morning when I wanted to play with somebody I would just go to the attic and bring somebody down. And then put them back when I'm done."

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