Tuesday, May 30, 2006

You said WHAT?!

A very popular blog is down this week, because someone said she knew the author in (work) RL and was displeased with what the blogger had to say. I'm sorry that this has happened, as I know that her blog was a very important space for her and for her readers.

I've heard in the past that a blog could be a professional problem. The only problem for me thus far is that I spend way too much time reading others' blogs and not enough time reading text books. But I do wonder if it's the case . . .

I've tried to be careful what I've written here, not with any concerns for my professional life, or how others will react to me ( though I don't post student stories or complaints about classes even when I have great ones) but with an awareness that someday, I. could read what I've written here. I would hate to think that she would find something unexpected and hurtful, or feel I've violated her privacy, left her feeling exposed in any way. Much of this I've written with the expectation that she'll read at least parts of it someday. As far as stories involving ds go, I tell him when I'm writing them. He's starting to read, so he likes to sit with me as I reread before I hit publish. Someday he'll probably say "Why did you tell the world that I said that?" and I'll say "Hey, just be glad I never took bare bottom baby pictures like everybody else does. See? I was looking out for you!"

It isn't a matter of self-censorship so much as an effort at thinking through what it will mean to her that I've done so much public(ish) thinking-through.

For a semi-novice, then: How do other blogging mommas navigate these issues? Or blogging not-yet moms? Or not-yet blogging but thinking about it moms?


lola said...

I'm a "not" momma. But I have some experience with privacy rights and the 1st amend. As for your friend - her work place and co-workers have no right interfering, esp. if said blog is done in spare time... by posting a blog, if your friend was a drunk and her co-worker went to an AA meeting to spy on her or listened in on a therapist meeting, she couldn't use any of that info against her, as long as she isn't posting or reading posts at work.
If they ever try to fire her or cause problems at work- she should go straight to HR. I've had friends who posted on message boards about the news industry and their News Directors ordered or "advised" them to stop. Freedom of Speech-- though I believe ethics should hold you back from the user of Proper Nouns.

As for the ameninity of it all- I'm split. I think posting photos is fine as long as you don't have identifiable surroundings. I think asking your "ds" to look at the entries is sweet and it gets him involved in it.

General rule of thumb for me-- Never write anything down that you don't believe and won't stand by- even in a personal journal. I've seen all sorts of records be used as evidence in crimes. The only reason I felt comfortable saying about shooting the LAPD is because I don't live there.

My cousin got spooked a few times by some weirdos who visited her blog- but she overcame them. I'm not one to "hide", though I have my moments- but I believe in boldness with caution. Obviously- as I use a pseudoname- it's also more fun this way.

Overwhelmed! said...

"an awareness that someday, I. could read what I've written here."

This is what keeps me in check as well, knowing that someday Snuggle Bug will probably read my blog.

Dare I guess which blog that you're talking about that shut down? Does it have the initials TNO? I just tried to access that one a bit ago and can't find it. What a shame.

abebech said...

OW, it is - there was a post explaining for a bit, suggesting that it might be temporary . . .

Lo, it isn't so much that she might lose her job, I don't think, though that too has happened to another blogger, but that it doesn't feel secure, separate from RL anymore. I suppose the issue for me is how to negotiate the RL expectation that those closest to me will read . . . It's tough.